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Thursday, July 3, 2008

...Conviction Hurts...

But I am so glad that He convicts of sin! I have so many spirtiual...parental...spousal sins it clouds even the brightest of days. I have just browsed over about five blogs of random women and in each one I found something so convicting...I feel the need to share it with you. My prayer life stinks...large boisterous odor. I have been reading through this prayer devotional and yesterday it talked about asking God to convict you of your sins so you can confess them...that way you can pray more effectively for others. So I obeyed the suggestion and immediately He brought just that day's sins to mind...ouch I was praying asking forgiveness for like 30 minutes. I am so awful...now I really see what He meant in His word there is none who is righteous no not one. Throughout the day the Lord has continually been bringing different sins to light in my heart it has gotten me all depressed. I believe that alot of depression is caused by sin. Our sin should depress us. Please pray for me my biggest pitfall is anger...this emotion that never surface in my life until I had children...how terrible is that. I never got angry...well only at my sister growing up... Why in the world would I get so upset at the things that God has so richly blessed me with? I get mad at the silliest things. I am constantly asking my childrens forgiveness at blowing up about something silly... I really need to get a handle on this. I came across the Duggars blog (what a cool and God fearing family) I found their family guidline which I liked but they convicted me as well ... because I need to follow them before my children can be expected to follow them. My goal from now on is to use soft words with my children and husband no matter the circumstance. Raising my voice is not the most effective way of communicating with children. I have noticed them hollaring at each other and it is so "ugly". God always uses my babies to show me how I should not act. Thank you Lord I know you love me because you are chastening me! Forgive me Lord...I know and read about women who have lost children and would give anything to get them back and here I am taking my precious, healthy, alive, children for granted and stomp all over your grace. May I be changed by your mercy and renewed in the morning.

1 comment:

Gina Bauman said...

Michael, I was really blessed by this blog and boy do I understand. My boys are now 16 & 18 and I struggle to this day with losing my temper with them and yet they are such great young men. You'd love them. Tons of fun and have never given us any kind of trouble. They love being in the church youth group. Ben is a little sad because since he graduated he's technically not a "youth"... Well, thanks again for this blog. God is doing a wonderful work in you! Your spirit is as sweet as ever.