I have decided my whole problem in life is that I am being fearful and leading a feared life. I am afraid that I will ruin my children's lives by making mistakes. I am afraid my marriage will fail because we are in a different place then we have ever been. I am afraid I will not find a job and when I do I will have forgotten everything I learned. I fear that my extended family will not understand the choices we make. I fear that I will always be a big girl and will never be able to lose weight. I fear that my life will never be settled and that joy will never come again. I fear that my husband will stay away from the Lord for forever. I fear that my children will follow him... I think you get the point. I am feeling crippled by all this fear. Fear is ruling my life. I have been on the verge of tears for two weeks, my TMJ has flared up...fear is affecting my every breath. Fear has become my God. God tells us to "Fear NOT." Safety has become my God or the desire to be safe and protected.
I started this devotion today "Trust More, Fear Less"- By Max Lucado. I want to be fearless and love the Lord and serve Him, and TRUST Him in my life and his hand. I have felt so far away for him for nearly 18 months now. I know He is not the one who moved. I did. I feel Him genlty pulling me back into His comforting arms and trying to reassure my heart of his guidance and grace. My goal is to trust in Him more and not rely on my own strength or on the saftey this "world" can bring. I need the Lord to restore my fearful heart and spirit!
A day of mourning and sadness...
6 years ago